Words Hang In The Air

2009-09-01T09:55:00.001-07:00

Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first, real, kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises. Love is not a fairytale. Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night, because you can’t go to sleep mad at each other. It’s about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because you care so deeply for them. It’s not about buying them gifts, but it’s about leaving them little presents here and there, just to remind them that you are constantly thinking about them. Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things. Love is rare and special, but should not be treated as if it will break. Love needs to be thrown around and beat up a little bit, worn in, but not worn down. Love needs to be a comfortable feeling, a place to go when NO ONE else in the world can relate. A safe place, where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, you will still be… loved.

2009-03-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

White Lies DID AN AMAZING COVER on Kanye West's LOVE LOCKDOWN at BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge. AWESOMENESS!

daaammn !
Kanye, you know i like you to bits but i gotta say that white lies PWNED you ! hahaha. Harry prolly sucked at the beginning of the song but he nailed the chorus real good. i love the guitar and the bass playin on this video.. oh and Jack is such a cutieeee pieeee !!

I'm happy because two of my fave bands are being featured on MTV Push. I'm gonna be seeing a lot of White Lies and Metro Station on TV, yaaay !!

2009-03-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

Often when we're feeling down, we focus on the bad and let the good things go unnoticed. We start to think we're incredibly unlucky and far less successful than the people around us. We compare ourselves to people who are prettier, wealthier, etc etc and end up with the very negative view of ourselves.

Meehh.

True, comparing ourselves to other people is totally useless, because everyone is different :)

2009-03-20T10:10:00.001-07:00

oh my sun, my always ready gun my symmetry, my place, oh refugee oh my star, my supernatural scar my inside out, my feeling lost without my fantasies, my silverchain a light like water, runs like the rain i turn my eyes to see, im on the other side and feel, feel alive..

2009-03-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

im sick of following my dreams. im just goin to ask them where they're goin, and hook up with them later.

2009-03-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

I won a samsung DVD player tonight at Indika FM event. YAY !
well, nabil and boim won cooler prizes tho.. Nokia cellphone, Panasonic Camera Recorder.. motherfuckers.. BUT no need to feel envious about it.. winning a samsung DVD player is still better than nothing ;)

work tomorrow and i still dont know if i should hand in my resignation paper tomorrow or next week. ughh.. dilemma.

Anyways, im soooo happy ! Kite approved me on myspace ! YAY !
i just hope he'll regularly update his photos.. or post more videos of him.. i am soo addicted to him right now tee hee !

here is a video of him when he was on Juste Debout 2009 Popping Final in France. Kite teamed up with Fishboy (another Former Action boy) battled Gucchon & Kei from Co-thkoo.

2009-03-03T02:49:00.000-08:00

i know i have not been blogging for ages. I had no intention whatsoever to neglect it, it's just recently i have been really occupied with issues outside the cyber world. And those issues limited me from getting some time to sit in front of the computer and write about my thoughts, personal issues or just some random stuff.

As some of you might have known. I recently got a new job at my relative's company. I am working as a sales and marketing for one of the LPG Cylinder Manufacturers in Indonesia which has been appointed as one of the cylinder suppliers to PERTAMINA (State Oil Company). My job requires me to go back and forth to PERTAMINA in order to make sure the handling of our documents (invoice, official reports etc) goes smoothly and fast. I must say i dont mind doing it but i would rather not having any business or relation or whatever with Indonesian bureaucracy people. One thing i have learned about this country, that if you deal with them, money is always involved. For example, everytime i hand in our invoice i will also have to slip some amount of money so they will work on our invoice faster. Other than that i also have to put up some valves to sale by calling some of our competitors company (who are also manufacturing the LPG Cylinder). I must say i am very very bad at doing sales and also marketing. That's just not what i am. Everybody knows that the things i am really good at is doing something that's related to media, production, publicizing and creative idea. So when i am being faced with this sales-marketing field. I am having a real difficult time to adjust.

2 days after i started my first day in the office, i told my close friends that i was going to quit it. They advised me to stay a bit longer because they think this is the only option i have for this moment. They do understand that this job does not fit me well and this job is really not me. However, they told me to see it as a challenge and as a test to see how far my limit can go. Aside from that, they also advised me to keep my options open and helped me out by asking information if there's a job vacancies in the entertainment industry.

A week after, i decided to try my hard to put my best efforts and enjoy my job and still keeping my options open. I still annoyed my close friends by whining and complaining which lead them to skeptical thoughts on my definition of "try my hard and my best". And now after a month of working, and being in a calm state of mind.. i can see clearly that maybe i have not tried my best, that the refusal in my heart and mind has blocked me to enjoy my work and my willingness to give a good performance to the company. Yes, this is such a shameful thing.

A few nights ago, my aunt talked to me. She told me that she has been thinkin that i am leading such a wild life (she's talking about me freelancing) and she asked whether the thoughts of leading such a calm and quiet life ever crossed my mind. She was going to find me another job, but i refused right away. I think i have learned my lessons now. I took a job from her once and i felt miserable cos family involvement in work atmosphere is rather uncomfortable and awkward. I repeated the same mistake by taking my mum's advice to take the offer from the boss of my current company (who's still a close relative to our family.) I shall be more responsible of my own life and i shall be more open in dealing with consequences of my choices.

I have been thinking that maybe.. maybe i should just shut up and go back to the production world. I have been getting 4 calls for a CF makings and i turned them all down. It's killin me to think of how much money i have thrown out of the window by saying no to them hahaha. Despite the lack of sleep, despite the non-existent of social life, CF industries may not be that bad. But of course i have to make list of considerations before i quit my current job.

Another sad news, my dad's sister passed away last night (March 2nd 2009, 10:00 pm). I sent out my mom to my dad's hometown for the funeral, but i told my bosses and co-workers i left the town with her :P i know i know.. it's a shame of me but i just dont feel going to work after staying up 24 hrs straight !

Man this is going to be a long ass post but apart from the depressing notes, i also have to throw some bright notes in this post.

I am currently addicted to KITE, a japanese popper, who is also the winner of "Juste Debout 2009" in the popping category.

I swear he is not only CUTE but he also has MAD SKILLS ! his poppin' style is BATSHITCRAZY!

he is currently one of the "FORMER ACTION" crew and he is residing in Tokyo, Japan. He is 25 years old and it's fuckin hard to find more info of him on the internet, so please see it as a call for you to help me out finding more info on this guy haha.. I added him on myspace and im crossing my fingers he will approve me soon!

imma post some videos of him, enjoy !

FORMER ACTION CREW (Kite, Madoka, Paki, Atzo

2009-01-20T09:51:00.000-08:00

so today i went out to meet up with nenekguru. I transferred more than 5GB of BB files from her external hard disk to my laptop. The result, i only have 13 GB left on my baby. Boo !
Nenek is goin to Korea next month and she was asking me for tips and advices. I lent her the map of Seoul and also the Seoul tourism book which i got from KTO and i also showed her pictures of my trip to Seoul on 2007. I told her to visit CD Oppa's store and also to eat at Ddakgalbi Oppa's restaurant hahaha. When i showed her the pictures of my friends and i which were taken at the MNet and KBS Music Bank, she asked if i could help her to get into those shows and i was like "if i were there with you, i could get you in.. the problem is i would not be there and you were not with us the last time. So i don't think it would be that easy." Well, i do have a friend who works as a producer at KBS, but he is always abroad shooting for TV programs. I told nenek about this (cos she's been really nice to me..) and i also promised her that i would try to contact my friend (which i did) and ask him if there's anything he can do to smuggle nenek in.
I sooooooooo wish i could go to Seoul :(

Another thing (which isn't related to the post above..)
i am wearing braces now.
A lot of people been asking me about it. Those who interact with me in real life said i should have not bothered to wear it because there's nothing wrong with my teeth. Hmmpff.. Well, the first glance you see me, you might not notice it but after a few glances you'll notice that i have an overbite. An overbite which seemed to be getting worse everyday and i just need to fix it. The overbite is makin me self-conscious and i hate it. Hence, the braces.

I am going to have it tighten up tomorrow.
i've heard bad story about it being tighten up. They said it hurts like hell.
I am anxious !

2009-01-18T10:29:00.000-08:00

so okay i got my period.. and so okay i am still feeling like shit... so okay i still need to find a job.. but the weather was definitely nice outside..

2008-12-19T20:47:00.000-08:00

when i was still with him, and had this long distance relationship, we set up a livejournal for both of us. To let ourselves updated with news of each other. it was one of the evidences of our happy moment.

sweetie [25 October 2004|08:39am]
Hi sunshine. My weekend was good for the most part. I sent the package to Finia! She should have it by today or earlier. I hope everything got there fine. Ive been stressing out a lot lately. I'll probably be away even more (i know im not even around now!).. but I have to. I'll be back babe, dont you worry.

I saw a hockey game last tuesday for my fave team.. argh they lost so bad. Worse game ive ever seen and I had to see it in real life, oh it was awful. I'll never go to another game, hehe. Other then that things are just about as dull as yours ;). I love you like crazy babe, I hope you get the package soon. Ask Finia if she has received it.

I missss you so much! I love you like crazy!!

-yourboy

It's probably not a wise thing for me to read the entries we have submitted for each other. All the sweet words..

damn you, life !

i miss you my canuck.. It's a sad sad thing that we're both are realistic bastards.
But i couldnt help to wonder that if things had worked differently between us..
Would we still be together by now ?

2008-12-17T07:49:00.001-08:00

Just Imagine having only 24 hours to live before your life came to an end, and you had to leave this world forever.
If this were your last day, what would you want to do?
Would you just sit back and smoke a cigarette?
Who would you want to see the most?
Is there someone you’d want to try to find?
Or is there a secret you’d just like to keep without telling anyone?
If you lived a life with no regrets, would you still be smiling when it’s all over?
Or would the judgments of God cause you to tremble and shake?

2008-12-16T07:49:00.000-08:00

i am overwhelmed by the realization that we live in a world where on one end, people own mansions, luxurious cars, Plasma TVs, computers and blackberries and electric guitars and computerized what-not, while not very far away, a man's entire livelihood is centered around a wooden pushcart and selling fried rice to passersby on the street.

it's amazing.

2008-12-15T03:30:00.000-08:00

"Northern Downpour", my second fave track from Panic at the Disco's "Pretty Odd" album. After a long consideration, i decided that i like "Pretty Odd" album more than "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out". Well, i know i shall not compare both albums since they both have different styles. Fever was a bit vaudeville-ish,and has a touch of thick electronic beats. Pretty Odd on the other hand is completely different with its bouncy sound and classic pop structure; It is less digitized and it has a strong 60's rock influence. I am so damn glad they cut out the emo shit. Glad they have matured well.

Oh and i really recommend you to watch this video because Brendon's junk looks sooo big in this video hahaha.. yumm !

Anyhoo..
yesterday's wedding was not that good. I messed up a bit and i blame the groom's parents for that. I just wish they could shut the fuck up and let us do our work. I know they wanted to please the guests but geezeee.. we're the party organizer and we KNOW what to do. I wish i could scream at their faces "SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND STOP BEING A FUCKIN SMARTASS !" *sigh*

I have been doing 2 weddings so far. And it occurs to me that everyone seems to have their own "dream wedding" in mind. What do i want my wedding to be like ?
i dont know. i couldn't seem to find the answer. And this annoys me quite a bit.

umm another thing..
i think i need save more and spend a little less.
my parents house is in need for a renovation :/

ps : sophie sent a friend request to ji hoon. i want to know if he has accepted her request cos i wanna add him too..

2008-12-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

check out my birthday gifts from the lovely friends :)
click on the pics for a bigger view..
i loveeee my friends and cousins to bits <33

another note.. i cant seem to stop listening to Lenka, esp this song :

Lenka has finally released her CD. However, instead of putting this version on her album, they replaced it with a new version of the song. Regardless, i enjoy both versions very much <33 I just love her sweet, sexy, angelic voice. utterly mesmerizing. très excellent.

okay, it's random shit but i am craving for starbucks' toffee nut :[

also random but i think people should just stop talking about how awesome Twilight is because it's so FUCKIN NOT ! it's just a new adaptation of the same old vampire story.

PS : People should read books with depth. seriously !

p.ps :

CAN I HAVE YOU, NAKED, WRAPPED IN RIBBONS FOR CHRISTMAS ????
I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK IF YOU SWING THE OTHER SIDE, I JUST WANT TO FEEL YOUR ABS AND STROKE IT GENTLY AND LAY MY HEAD ON THE FLAT WASHBOARD STOMACH OF YOURS

OOHHH LUST... LUST IS GOING TO KILL ME !

2008-12-08T23:12:00.000-08:00

Pretty boy if your single, single...
You don’t gotta be alone tonight.
So you don’t gotta be alone, I’ll be your girlfriend.
So you don’t gotta be alone, boy I’ll be your girlfriend.
So you don’t gotta be alone, baby I’ll be your girlfriend.

i fancy him to bits, but how come my gaydar is ringing ?

2008-12-07T11:42:00.001-08:00

I have never really been such a religious person but i seriously want to thank God above for giving me another year in my life. I am so thankful that i have been given such strength to live this quite a hard life. I am thankful for i have been given such nice family and friends. I am thankful that i have been given such health and turned 29 this year. Yes, i am 29 years old and eventhough i haven't really found Mr. Right yet (not that it matters that much..), i am still thankful for everything i have in my life now.

These past 2 days were grand.
Yesterday (december 6th), i hung out with my sidekick N and W. We first went to see "Twilight", the movie. I really don't understand all the hype about this Twilight thing. It seems phenomenal and yet i do not feel or see it as a superb thing. I have read the 1st book of the Twilight series and i stopped reading the series after i am done with the 1st book. The reason is because I simply can not stand it. Why ? because i think it's a crap. It's just a pile of past Vampire stories. The excessive verbal romance in between Bella and Edward just make me sick. It's not jealousy, it's just i am not a helplessly romantic person. And the fact that it's another form of teenage chicklit doesn't help that much. Mind me but i always have lack of interest in romance books esp the ones with graphic sex.

I never intended to watch the movie, considering of how much i dislike the book. However, W decided to watch it and bought me the ticket because he has been hearing good reviews about the movie. I knew it wasn't that good and i have been trying to tell him that but he was being him.

Anyway enough with the Twilight crap. I dont think it's worth that much to be discussed. So after the movie, we had our dinner at this korean restaurant. We had bibimbap and kalbi. N and W ran into their friends and they joined us at the bowling session after dinner. As expected, i had the lowest score . I am just not good at bowling. Meehh. We headed off to FX after we're done bowling. Had supper at Amadeus Cafe, wanted to leave before the clock turned 12 AM but the boys tried to keep me stay. When the clock turned 12, the waitresses came out with a piece of cake with a candle on it. It was W's idea. How nice. I made my wish and blew off the candle. Finished the cake and we all went home.

I received a few txt msgs today and one of them was from Mom. She said she was sorry she couldn't be with me on my birthday. Maybe she was being serious, maybe not. who knows ?

And today, i was planning to have a birthday lunch with my cousins, however, some of them couldnt make it for lunch so it had to be pushed back to dinner. I chose melly's as the place. I was quite anxious at first because i was afraid my cousins wouldnt like the place. But then i thought hey, it's my day today and i can throw a birthday bash wherever i like. I still do not know if they fancy Melly's or not but i think i've paid it up by buying them coffees at Oh La La Cafe.

N, B and K came to my birthday dinner today. It was so fun to have them around. N and B gave me this very cool gift. It's by far the best presents i received today. It's an IOU SEX Treat Voucher hahahahaha. The Voucher contains of 30 Naughty IOUs for sensual favors such as "One Serious Make Out Session - In a location of my partner choosing (Car, Movie Theatre, Park Bench, Couch etc), "A Trip 'Downtown'", "A Sexy Striptease" etc hahaha.

I am so glad that today went well. I am glad i spent it with people whom i know i can count on. I just hope i could spend it with you people too.. yes, you know who you are ! Thank you so much for the msgs. Love you to bits <3

2008-12-05T10:51:00.000-08:00

i swear i didn't mean to neglect this blog, i just didnt have much time to sit in front of the computer to blog. The last few weeks had been quite hectic. I was out most of the time, spending the quality time with friends and whoring myself for a job.

Today on my way to the restaurant for a family dinner, W rang me up. I bumped into him last week at Senayan City and he was asking if i could contribute in promoting Daniel's clothing line. I was quite in a hurry that time and told him to call me up later so we could discuss more about it. Thus, when he rang me up today, i thought he was going to discuss about it. I was wrong tho. He actually asked me if we could hang out and i said i could not because i was having a small family gathering and suggested us to meet tomorrow. I was only half serious with the suggestion, regarding to the fact that we have not been that close as friends. Yes, we did work together for 2 years and i have not forgotten yet about the troubles he had caused me and how hard it was for me to swallow the rage and the betrayed feelings by myself. To make a very long story short, he had never treated me good as a partner. Hell, what kind of a person back-stabbed his own partner. tsk. I was really happy when i got the chance to do my own show, it seemed everything was so much easier and there was less pressure.

Anyhoo.. before he hung up the phone he told me to call N and ask him if he could join us tomorrow. I did send N a txt msg, slightly hoping he wont be able to make it tomorrow. N then replied saying that he was with W and he'd spill the details soon. W then rang me up again saying that he has already bought me ticket for a movie tomorrow. The movie starts at 3:30 pm which means i will have to leave the korean course early to make it. Meehh. I might not like the idea of it but i think i'm going to end up doing it.

In brutal honest, i don't know why he's so determined for us to hang out. It's not like we have a lot to talk about and we could never get personals anyway. I know he does not want to open up with me about his sexual preference and i am seriously fine with it. I knew he swings the other side a long time ago, when i was still working with him. N confirmed about it with me when he accidentally read W's inbox which was full of emails from his partners. And i always knew that the guy he always brought around was his boyfriend. I am not a homophobic and i have a lot of gay friends. I am not a judgemental person and i have never made fun of gay people. He, on the other hand had always made cynical and sarcastic comments on a few gays we both know. I guess this is something that stops him from comin out clean with me. Because he is scared i am going to get it back at him, which i swear i dont intend to. I actually know the guy he was dating and they broke up a while ago because his partner cheated on him with some guy. I know that W is now having some problem at getting over his ex and he kinda needs a companion, something to ease his mind. But how could i help him if we are not in sync. And most importantly, how could i help him if i have not forgotten about the past yet ? As much as i want to feel sorry for him, i do not feel that way. I don't hold grudges, i just don't forget few things easily.

Today was my cousin's birthday and soon i will have mine.
I still have no plans yet. At first i was thinking of going home and spend it with my mom like we did last year. However, my mom chose to spend time with her spiritual advisor outside Jakarta. She told me she was being asked for a help, to be responsible for this outbound event which is going to be held at this area owned by her spiritual advisor. I kinda nagged about it when i was on the phone with her. I am still a bit upset, but to think about it, if she doesn't want to spend my birthday with me then be it. It's not like we are going to do anything special on that day. Last year we just ate noodles, a necessary component, which is believed going to give one's a long life.

I am clueless of what i am going to do on my birthday and i do not know what i want for my birthday. Friends and cousins have been continuously asking me what i want as gifts. It's commonly known to people around me that it's better to ask me rather than just randomly give me things. I do not like surprises and i do not like unexpected gifts. I usually ask people to give me things i need as my birthday presents. It makes my life and their lives easier, i think. At least they don't need to overuse their brain to think about what to give and what not. Ever gone blank at the mall, completely clueless about what to give to your friends or family as their birthday presents? I am like that.. most of the time.

Ps: i think i need to think about what do i need right now. An eye make-up remover ? bras ? hmm...

2008-11-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

I stayed home today.
I wasn't up to go out.
Some days I don’t want to get out of bed,
today was one of them.

My tooth isn't healing as fast as i thought it would going to be.
I woke up today to find out it was still slightly bleeding.
I rang up my dentist and asked whether it's normal and she said it's okay.
Apparently, the cut was deeper than the other molar which was pulled out last April.
I seriously hope it would healed soon.
It feels so damn uncomfortable and i don't feel like eating for the reason that i am afraid the food will somehow stuck on the wound and it'll slow down the healing.
How I wish i wasn't such a worrier.

Hannie messaged me today and asked if we could hang out.
I was too busy playing the New Super Mario Brothers on the Nintendo DS.
So i suggested us to meet on either Friday or Saturday.
Best is Saturday because Uci is going to be around and i am sure she wants to see Ryu as well.

I am getting attached to Ryu and it isn't good.
He is going back to Japan on February.
It is breaking my heart to have that thought in my mind.
I am surely going to miss him a whole bunch.

My cousins and my aunt are going back home tomorrow.
I should feel happy about it, shouldn't i ?

2008-11-25T09:07:00.000-08:00

Phiew. I just had a "small surgery" today. Went to the dentist and she pulled out one of my molar teeth. It's just one of the procedures i need to undergo before they finally put braces into my mouth to fix my overbite. My dentist said that we might need to wait for 2 or 3 weeks for the wound to heal completely and when it's healed, she'll put the braces on. i must say i am EXCITED about this. I have been wanting to wear braces since i was young but yeah my parents thought i didnt need one but as i grew older, my overbite is getting worst. Hopefully, the braces will work and fix my overbite *crosses fingers*

Anyway, i changed my status on facebook to "in a relationship with Ryuta Kawai". I never thought it would cause such a fuss but it did ! Friends who have met Ryu said im a pedophile and im such a sad case hahaha. Others who have not met him yet questioned me about him. Im pretty much sure they would laugh their asses off if i tell them the truth haha.

Well, their curiosity on my relationship status is really understandable. Mostly because they've known me as a PICKY one. Yes, im far too picky for my own good. Sometimes i even wonder if i put the standard too high. Well all i can say is that i think it is necessary for someone my age to put a high standard because i'm no longer in a phase to be in a just-for-fun kind of relationship. Lame excuse, i know. Self-justification for my picky behavior haha.

But seriously, it is not wrong to be single for someone who is turning 29 next week, is it ? It isn't like i don't try to get myself a partner, it's just i have no interest in hurrying the love. And if i can be honest, i am enjoying every seconds of being single. I wouldn't mind to have a loving and caring boyfriend, of course. However, at this very moment i have no interest in having a relationship with anyone. Yes, i am single by choice haha.

So why put the status on facebook then ?
It's for fun and to block this person away from my life.
to make a long story short.. there's a guy who fancies me but i dont fancy him. I told him that i have a bf but he keeps on pursuing me and it annoys the hell out of me.

Why a 4-year-old kid ?
because he's damn cute and he acknowledges me as his girlfriend. hah !

our pics together :

yup. that's my 4-year-old half japanese half indonesian boyfriend :P
check out the last pic, ain't he cool or what ?! hahahaha
a ciggie and a glass of beer hahahaha

okay, don't get me wrong here. I am not, i repeat, i am not a pedophile. I am totally conscious that i am old enough to be his mother and that's HOW I SEE IT. I treat him like my son and i love him in a non romantic way. Doh! i ain't that crazy and desperate hahaha..

2008-11-24T11:07:00.001-08:00

so i went to the mall to meet my relative to pick up my watch which i left at the hotel's bathroom the other day. I was dead tired and in a hurry after the wedding that day, i completely forgotten about my watch. Thank God one of my relatives kept it for me. Whilst i waited for him and his wife, i bought myself a medium cup of sour sally yogurt. I have been craving for it since yesterday and i was really happy when i shoved a spoonful of the yogurt into my mouth. The taste of yogurt mixed with the sweetness of fresh strawberry and nata de coco washed away my foul mood. It was heavenly.

After i got my watch, D and i headed off to the south because she had to go to her office and i was meeting up with double H and their nephew, Ryu. When i called one of the H to let them know that i was already on the way to meet them, i could hear Ryu was talking on the background. "Who is it ?" he said. And when he was being told that it was me on the phone, he grabbed the phone and went "Where are you?? Let's meet up soon !" i swear this kid is too cute ! When i finally met them, i was told that he actually said to his mom that i'm his girlfriend ! hahaha..

Cute thing happened when i tried to call home during our late supper. He went "whom are you calling ? are you calling your boyfriend ??" and i was like "nope, i'm not. you are my boyfriend." and then he went "You were calling your boyfriend at H's house, weren't you ?" hahahahaha.. i wish he was at least 25 years older. Damn, life is so unfair !

2008-11-23T04:30:00.001-08:00

Let's see..

I was feeling really bad today and I was getting sick of staying in this house. D gave me the idea to go for a walk. So I went and got the dogs out and me and them went on a walk. It was really nice. I thought of how i mess up... about how I guess if it happened it was suppose to happened.
So now I’m going to hope for the best but I'll be expecting the worst.

I can be such a mean person, but I try hard not to be when it comes to a few things.